The next post about adoption

March 2010
This was a horrible semester for Brian at EKU, so most of my thoughts about adoption were limited to myself or my closest friends. I found that blogging about my feelings was a great outlet for me.......

Thinking out loud...

Well I have a lot to be thinking about. First, one of my friends and fellow bloggers DiJo is in China this very moment getting to meet her third daughter for the first time. I am so happy for her and her family to be spending time with their sweet little "Tung Tung" who we know as Sienna. I am praying for them everyday. I know this is God's plan for their family but it must be terrifying for any 4 year old to leave all they've known. I pray that God will cover Sienna with a blanket of faith, strength, and comfort during her transition. I can't help but be a little jealous though. I know not everyone See's where I'm coming from when I say I want to spend thousands of dollars, many months, traveling around the world, and becoming a mother to 5 children. But I really don't care what others think. Maybe the only way I can explain it is by describing how I felt when I found out I was pregnant with my other children. After the initial shock wore off I remember thinking that the day I got to meet our baby would never come. Like a feeling of wanting something so bad, and feeling that you are unworthy, so the bottom was sure to fall out. Then the waiting is awful and it seems to drag on FOREVER. Then Bamm you're in labor and you finally get to hold your baby in your arms, and look at their precious face. I have been told that I don't even know my daughter who is so far away and that she may not even be real, but I know in my heart that she is. Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it's not real, right? She is a part of my being, just as my other children are. I can't stop thinking and worrying about her until I have her in my arms.