Getting ready for baby?

These updates we have been giving the past 2 weeks have been worth a million dollars! I'm still so humbled by the organization's workers that keep sending updates everyday. This is a luxury most adopting parents do not get.........I'm trying to be as prepared as I can be going into this, even though I'm fully expecting a complete cluster over the next few weeks. Adoption alone can be overwhelming especially when it requires traveling. We are in an extremely crazy, busy time frame right now and we are fully trusting that God is going to walk us step by step through the next month.
    I don't want this to come across as a moaning and groaning post, because I am ecstatic to be getting ready to travel and get our girl home. But, I do use this blog as an outlet for my deepest thoughts and concerns, so here it goes....... Brian is finishing out his semester, all of his clinical hours are completed, he just has a few more projects and he will be done!!! Yay!!!! I will be taking two exams in the next 5 days, and completing a paper before travel (my school portal page will not be accessible while we're in China). I also have to work two more 12 hour shifts before we leave, pack for the kids, get the paperwork together, pack for three (Brian, Hadley and myself) for China. I have no time to think about what we are getting ready to experience, because it just won't fit in the schedule. Maybe that's a blessing in disguise. I'm really holding up much better than I thought I would. I've had no crying fits (or cussing fits) sorry to say that does happen when I'm extremely emotional. I'm very ashamed of this fact, but it's the truth. (I am working on it). I know I'm covered by God's grace, love and mercy and that's why I'm relatively calm right now.
    So back to the updates...... Hadley's "healing Mom" is a Saint and has offered to send all of Hadley's beloved possessions with her in her own luggage (for us to bring home). This is really rare with Chinese adoptions, usually children are sent with what's on their backs and that's all. Not our sweet girl, she comes with her own luggage, who said orphans don't have anything? This is just another reminder that our girl is so special and extraordinary!!! We were also informed that our girl sleeps in a baby bed still, although she's 2 1/2 she is still not mobile (that will soon change). This is one of the unique things about our girl. I still don't want to elaborate too much on her special needs, out of respect for our sweetheart. So in order to accompany the bed issue we got out the baby bed again.....

Brian and I went to Babies R Us to get some new bedding for our girl, I thought maybe just some matching sheets. Let me say this Hadley is already a daddy's girl.... Brian bought an entire bedding set, one that matches Haven's almost perfectly. We we're glad to hear her favorite color is PINK, I knew she was my daughter. Then we got her a new car seat, not to mention we found an Asian Cabbage patch doll, can you believe that?????

     Brian has shown me more about himself in the past two weeks then he has in our entire marriage. Don't think we keep our true identity hidden from each other, we are open books with one another. What I mean by that is that adopting was first placed upon my heart! Brian was very reluctant in the beginning, which is nothing to be ashamed of, adoption is not for everyone. I researched, and studied adoption for months before I brought this crazy (and awesome) idea to the table. Brian wasn't so sure in the beginning and I asked him to just pray about it and take some time with the idea. Needless to say God pull some strings and after a few months of me repeatedly bringing it up he agreed to attend a seminar on adoption. Now fast forward four years.... here we are! I didn't even ask Brian to go down and bring up the baby bed, to be honest I wasn't even thinking about the bed. He went down, brought it up, and immediately started putting it together. As I watched my husband put it together I couldn't help but think how totally brave and courageous he is for going along on this wild journey with me. I had to ask myself "if God called Brian to do something, would I be willing to go along with him?" Wow, would I? In the beginning of our marriage I wouldn't have. I'm not one for getting out of my comfort zone. That's the amazing thing about following God's plan for your family, you go places you never thought you would. Who knows you might even like it!!!

     I am not naive about what is getting ready to happen. I do try to keep some of my worries hidden, but I will say I'm scared to death!!!! Scared of leaving my children for 16 days, scared of something not working out over in China, scared that I'll forget to pack something, scared of getting sick over there, scared that my mom and dad will be overwhelmed while we'll gone. But mostly scared for my sweet girl, for her heartache of leaving her family, scared for her fear of us, scared that she doesn't understand what's happening and having no way of explaining it to her. Scared for her travel to new places, and leaving her birth country. We will love her through her fear though. Over time hopefully she will learn to trust us, come to understand that we have loved her since before she was born. Most importantly come to know that because of God she was protected and cared for by wonderful people, until her forever family could bring her home.

  

An introduction from Hadley's Foster Mother

When we prayed for Hadley to be placed in a foster home, and not in an orphanage the thought behind it was for her to receive the best care she could given the circumstances we were given. Someone to love her as their own, show her how to trust again and how to love. Show her that she is loved and wanted!!! I never thought about praying for the person who would be filling this role as "foster parent". How ashamed I am at that fact, but it is the truth. I never thought about the pain and grief they would encounter while caring for my child, knowing that they too would be letting her go when the time came.
    This woman is my hero! She has spent the last 1.5 years caring for Hadley. Doing everything a mother does. Loving her, feeding her, teaching her, supporting her every need. She is a solider of Love, an example of how we all should be. Selfless, when it comes to serving God......... Not ever placing herself or her feelings first......I don't think I could ever repay her for all she has done for our baby girl, but I can pray for her. I will always remember her and my daughter will know of her too.
   Words from her Foster Mother

"What an amazing blessing to have such a large family! I printed the photos you send and am making a flip book so Hadley will know her family a little before you meet in person. (She actually doesn't know her name. We call her Jiao-Jiao, which is her Chinese nickname.)

Hadley does not speak yet. She signs (American Sign Language) very well, she knows about 20 signs (although she is very selective about when she uses them). She is very expressive and is very good at making herself understood. She has been exposed to English for the past 1.5 years.

She is wearing anything from 18months-24months in clothes. She is quite petite. Her shoes are a 21. I don't know what that is in American sizing. She has a whole wardrobe which you are welcome to take home with you. When she travels to her home province to meet you, we can send anything you would like with her, if you do not come to Shanghai first. 

Her favorite food is yogurt closely followed by white rice and cheese. She also likes chicken, apples (and apple sauce), and macaroni and cheese. She loves blueberry muffins and goldfish crackers. She eats a mix of western (when I cook) and eastern (when our housekeeper cooks). 

Her favorite toy is her stuffed cat, by far. It goes everywhere with us. EVERYWHERE! She loves to play with blocks. She likes to build, but she prefers to knock down. She likes to play with balls. She is working on her throwing and catching, mostly she plays "fetch" with anyone who will let her. Recently, she has gotten much more confident in her walking and her push-toy has become her number one activity. She likes to play with play dough. She loves books- looking at pictures and being read to. Her favorite book is Good Night, Moon. She has a well loved copy. We also have several photo books of her life from when she came to Shanghai to now that she loves to look at over and over. 

Hadley sleeps in a crib now because she is not mobile on her own. She is very particular about her sleeping arrangements. She will only sleep in a crib, not in a stroller, not in your arms, etc. She has two blankets and two cats, all of which need to be with her or she ends up crying herself to sleep. Other then her particularities, she is a very good sleeper, calm and happy. 

I am so excited for you to bring Hadley home. If you have any more questions, do not hesitate to ask. We are praying for you and thank God that Hadley has such an amazing family."

 

Thank you Rebekah for everything, we will never forget what you have done.........

Our answer is.......Yes!!!!!

On June 11, 2013 we made the official call to proceed with the adoption of Lin Xin Lai, who we will know as Hadley Caroline Merrick. For so long I believed that if we could just get a referral, I would be on cloud nine. The thought of knowing who are daughter was going to be, what her special need involved, when we would travel, having a face to look at, and the details to pray about was all I needed to be happy. Wrong again...... It's the start of new worries, new concerns, the next steps and the start of a new to-do-list. Waiting, and waiting, and then more waiting. I wasted no time telling our closest friends, and family about her. Everyday someone would ask how much longer? Who knows?????
     We completed our nurture plan on 6/11/13, our electronic acceptance (EA) 6/12/13, post adoption plan of action 6/13/13, Dossier to China on 6/28/13, Pre-approval came on 7/15/13, and finally our LID on 7/24/13!!!!! The referral acceptance came on 08/15/13, our 1800 provisional approval on 09/12/13, and then our article 5 on 10/14/13. We waited on the edge of our seats for the last thing we needed before leaving, the TA. The said it would be between 2 1/2-4weeks for it to come through, however they had been receiving the TA's more on the shorter side. As most mother's I just knew it would come early, you have to be positive and hopeful right?  The first week came and went with nothing. The second week came and went with nothing. How awful is this??? Sunday morning 11/10/13 came and I was in a horrible mood! Aggravated, pouting, and feeling sorry for myself I made it to church. I had made my mind up before ever getting there, "just going through the motions this morning, don't really care what lesson we're on" Alright God two can play this game!!! (I'm being really honest here) After church was over my attitude stayed the same, flat, withdrawn, whinny (which is everything I can't stand). Time for evening service, The Booth Brother's were performing and my attitude was still unchanged, and pathetic. Then halfway through the service it happened...... They gave a short introduction about the next song they were going to be performing, and Jim Brady said "we don't know who this next song is for, but there is someone out there who is going through something right now, and they need to hear that God hears every cry, and knows every tear before they ever fall" I knew then that that was meant for me...... at the invitation I prayed that although we didn't get our TA, I trusted God was doing best for our family, and I asked God to help my anxiety until we were ready.
          Wednesday came and we still hadn't received the call, but I stood strong in my faith. at 4:45pm my phone rang and it was America World. I thought they were calling with our TA, after a few seconds on the phone I realized that was not the case. Our family coordinator was calling to let me know that another entity had just called her to inform her that they too knew our daughter, and they wanted to know if they could get in touch with her adopting family. This foundation was responsible for performing our sweet girl's surgery, and for the care she was receiving while waiting for us. Baobei Foundation is an organization that provide life saving surgery and care for orphans in China. They wanted to share important information with us. After getting off the phone with Leah I called Brian to tell him the news. I started to cry, I was so humbled that once again God did something just for me. Something I asked him to do, help me while I waited. I was overwhelmed with his love for me, amazed that once again he loves me unconditionally. I started receiving information that evening about Hadley, and I went to bed calm and at peace. The next morning I checked my email before my feet ever hit the floor. I was so happy to see this precious face...

 Prayers are answered, and Hadley is safe and will be until we're there....

The day!!!

On May 21, 2013 we received our sweet girls file. At the time we weren't 100 % guaranteed that all the kinks would work out, but we trusted and God delivered us just as he promised us he would.
       I had gone to Boston for a nursing convention with a few of my closest friends. Just a week or two before I left we had requested a file off the agency specific list, just to learn that it was already locked and out of reach for us at the time. I was very upset and I must admit I lost a few tears over that. As a Christian I want people to see me as someone who fully trusts God, even when things are bad, and it is extremely hard to walk on this path and never admit your scared and wondering will God so up or will I look like an idiot? To be honest it is scary, especially when you have an audience waiting to see your reaction to what ever problems life and this world throw at you.
         I remember thinking there's just something about her face, something that says "I'm yours". If you have adopted a child you might be able to relate to this idea. I wondered for so many months about whether or not I would know if she was the one when I saw her, and then it happened and I did! This is the first photo we saw of her sweet face....

 

She looked so happy, and content. Just as I had hoped for. Our family coordinator sent us the entire file to look at, and I read it from my computer in Boston, as Brian read it from our house. We talked on the phone, and from that moment on I new she was ours.  We waited to tell the kids, we didn't want to say we have a file until we were given the okay from our agency to proceed. After returning home Brian and I spoke with our international adoption specialist and she went over every detail she could find in her file. For Hadley's privacy I'm not going to post any information on this site, but I will say that she is just the way we wanted "perfect"!